The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
