She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Swine flu is the new snow day.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
