he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
