i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
