so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Who did Billy Mays play for?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
