i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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