at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
