We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
