I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
