sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Yo dont text me then not text me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
