I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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