I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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