I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I just want nice things and good sex
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
how drunk are you?
Several
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
