Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
