I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
