ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
