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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
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