do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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