He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
either way he was missing a nipple.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
