Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i think i have herpe
just one?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
