beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
