Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
