We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
She said her name was "party"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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