I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
