So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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