When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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