You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
