Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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