Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
