WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize