I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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