his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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