I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
