he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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