Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize