I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Randomize
