i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize