I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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