So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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