I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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