I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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