i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
