im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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