She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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