never play flip cup with pint glasses
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
