if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
