all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
