Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
