Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Randomize
