The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
