How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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