I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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