And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
