Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize