we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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