Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i think i have two assholes
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
