But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
