Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
