I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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