remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
