whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
