I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
