Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
