remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
