coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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